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The Lovely Bones (be continued...............)

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发表于 2009-10-11 03:08:28 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
本帖最后由 小爱不爱 于 2009-10-11 03:11 编辑 6 R. l# g. E! S/ `

5 _! k/ E3 t, T' R7 r《可爱的骨头》这一部不可能拍成电影的小说已经成功的拍摄完成,本来在3月份就可以看首映,但是基于一些原因,所以此片将会在12底发布,一部很不错的小说。 因为老师要我看一本英文书,我选择这部小说来当我的书评,所以介绍给大家。
! C; m( b( l; {0 G$ Q( w. e( u) Y此小说主要是通过一个14岁女孩被强奸及毁尸之后在天堂俯瞰人间的家人怎么悲痛,又怎么走出人生。9 A) g3 K  h* t

# T" r8 y( N7 J9 D5 E# |9 {因为文章有20多节,所以每次上传1节3 Y# i" X; ?  c6 q. V0 i- l* E

) V: t, K$ S! J+ d: K( GThe Lovely Bones    by     Alice Sebold
2 U, ^' U9 r  M: @8 ^' ~$ J
( m1 z3 X3 x. y. B7 F4 ?0 X8 I2 fInside the snow globe on my father's desk, there was a penguin wearing a
6 A- R  X0 S) R* v$ V4 x% b* Ered and white striped scarf. When I was little my father would pull me, k/ C/ x/ F5 u4 j
into his lap and reach for the snow globe. He would turn it over,
, E  R( P1 U8 t6 Z6 c0 o' ~  U/ s, pletting all the snow collect on the top, then quickly invert it. The two
" g$ a) q& n* _of us watched the snow fall gently around the penguin. The penguin was) p) S& m2 r9 c8 I) F2 o
alone in there, I thought, and I worried for him. When I told my father
' |9 P0 I  _- L! j. g: X( n8 R3 ythis, he said, "Don't worry, Susie; he has a nice life. He's trapped in
# ^3 T, U. q4 Ya perfect world."5 W4 f+ C& U4 _. e3 p2 ~0 r3 X

* D; v* `5 v5 l/ FONE
7 ~: w) g9 T  N  g9 eMy name was Salmon, like the fish; first name, Susie. I was
& K" z5 m( v' d1 M# Tfourteen when I was murdered on December 6, 1973. In newspaper photos of) `8 |# y; d% l+ b. t
missing girls from the seventies, most looked like me: white girls with
* v9 w- w2 @1 M% @' xmousy brown hair. This was before kids of all races and genders started0 r1 T' j9 Y* J3 w# H: M+ c, U
appearing on milk cartons or in the daily mail. It was still back when
6 g  _  J8 f& {6 ^people believed things like that didn't happen.$ d' f+ F9 D. S' u" L0 Z
In my junior high yearbook I had a quote from a Spanish poet my sister& e( [  P: t. U, I( e+ R
had turned me on to, Juan Ramon Jimenez. It went like this: "If they6 ^) ]7 k1 c  S- G! b9 ]
give you ruled paper, write the other way." I chose it both because it
2 R2 x' U: k' V3 g( D8 u- J5 q6 dexpressed my contempt for my structured surroundings a la the classroom
# A2 }. N( k. f4 {and because, not being some dopey quote from a rock group, I thought it) @2 A& q) O9 L+ |6 Q
marked me as literary. I was a member of the Chess Club and Chem Club
" Y% j) p" M. }/ V* N) aand burned everything I tried to make in Mrs. Delminico's home ec class.
" K' Z; Z3 {" j* ~5 lMy favorite teacher was Mr. Botte, who taught biology and liked to
$ r0 {, ^$ I4 v4 I. ^animate the frogs and crawfish we had to dissect by making them dance in
' [1 m1 E* H; gtheir waxed pans.
' i. o$ A7 g6 A; B9 h* j3 eI wasn't killed by Mr. Botte, by the way. Don't think every person
* M" C6 g2 O" y4 c) W2 x9 r& l% eyou're going to meet in here is suspect. That's the problem. You never
* G5 J2 I5 p5 h& @: Lknow. Mr. Botte came to my memorial (fas?), may I add, as did almost the
& W; l  r0 M0 p7 Z1 ]" ~entire junior high school (I was never so popular) and cried quite a
( @& ?% {1 |0 b4 t1 W) ybit. He had a sick kid. We all knew this, so when he laughed at his own" g8 o- ?! @2 G
jokes, which were rusty way before I had him, we laughed too, forcing it
6 T" D0 s3 x- |  n0 f+ Isometimes just to make him happy. His daughter died a year and a half# Z1 T- r; G! M9 q
after I did. She had leukemia, but I never saw her in my heaven.
  B6 M9 m5 m, z2 ?' w1 y% T3 w) N3 qMy murderer was a man from our neighborhood. My mother liked his
  S1 @# m' ]+ l: ]2 C  c+ @border flowers, and my father talked to him once about fertilizer. My
9 [2 H- N' \8 i5 T3 l+ _  [* Rmurderer believed in old-fashioned things like eggshells and coffee1 i1 G7 K, s* o
grounds, which he said his own mother had used. My father came home. }' c0 @7 @! _+ P: h; N0 l
smiling, making jokes about how the man's garden might be beautiful but
$ a* H0 P( ]& |8 A- F! B8 @it would stink to high heaven once a heat wave hit.
3 A' v3 R3 g( _2 z$ y' MBut on December 6, 1973, it was snowing, and I took a shortcut through
1 ~! f! @6 ~  c! N2 R- d+ ?the cornfield back from the junior high. It was dark out because the
5 b9 n6 R2 k8 d- `6 Hdays were shorter in winter, and I remember how the broken cornstalks% C3 a9 `+ f" P6 y. ^( T& \" `4 e
made my walk more difficult. The snow was falling lightly, like a flurry6 I( \8 ?1 k: w* I3 C) T
of small hands, and I was breathing through my nose until it was running" {0 @, x5 W, ^8 @; \
so much that I had to open my mouth. Six feet from where Mr. Harvey
9 @8 p3 w5 l9 F: astood, I stuck my tongue out to taste a snowflake.
3 @* c! \6 E  ~' T"Don't let me startle you," Mr. Harvey said.
9 h3 Q4 T: w4 G5 x  aOf course, in a cornfield, in the dark, I was startled. After I was
5 y  ~- B, X8 N; u  `dead I thought about how there had been the light scent of cologne in
1 ~9 o1 q" |0 l% Fthe air but that I had not been paying attention, or thought it was
! J2 P/ S9 f) E3 R2 Rcoming from one of the houses up ahead7 M6 ?  r# i9 L1 Q
"Mr. Harvey, "I said.3 K0 w" y) `+ T  S0 N% c8 V! s2 e
"You're the older Salmon girl, right?"
4 j% R: b' {+ H8 L6 x% ^"Yes."+ {8 x8 K$ D1 D7 o1 z! x
"How are your folks?"& p6 R  P" N) w! ~  y$ j, h8 I
Although the eldest in my family and good at acing a science quiz, I: K* \  L, m* k& t' [6 z
had never felt comfortable with adults.
' a- O/ I7 \0 @7 ~; A"Fine," I said. I was cold, but the natural authority of his age, and
$ R% r8 J2 x7 r7 ^# U4 Ythe added fact that he was a neighbor and had talked to my father about& ~0 Y. S6 j9 ]8 a* v! ]
fertilizer, rooted me to the spot.
) V  s5 Y. a) I"I've built something back here," he said. "Would you like to see?”
# ^& _0 J' Q5 Z) j5 J"I'm sort of cold, Mr. Harvey," I said, "and my mom likes me* t9 E+ q$ p$ s6 `4 R2 e
home before dark."& D9 N- \1 S0 x  h; |" w, X: P
"Its after dark, Susie," he said.! G+ H% d1 `# M1 x
I wish now that I had known this was weird. I had never told him my
/ O1 E9 C( K, i8 `+ k& I5 J% p; Ename. I guess I thought my father had told him one of the embarrassing
, J4 W" P" u, Yanecdotes he saw merely as loving testaments to his children. My father
2 S! S3 @: E; Y; r4 mwas the kind of dad who kept a nude photo of you when you were three in
6 a! e1 U4 _+ |: y, jthe downstairs bathroom, the one that guests would use. He did this to/ F. ~( r# u9 |0 u& i, w' D
my little sister, Lindsey, thank God. At least I was spared that9 b" f1 h4 K+ H( m5 u' W& \
indignity. But he liked to tell a story about how, once Lindsey was
: A7 }9 |. n3 t* i6 i9 r7 dborn, I was so jealous that one day while he was on the phone in the" P" N+ m1 ^# I0 v
other room, I moved down the couch - he could see me from where he stood& O+ m7 H% F2 y7 b
- and tried to pee on top of Lindsey in her carrier. This story& ?9 g. L" b% I5 F* k# {
humiliated me every time he told it, to the pastor of our church, to our" D6 V+ R( O& i: D+ p4 S, K
neighbor Mrs. Stead, who was a therapist and whose take on it he wanted
: j7 Q! @# b; u5 M. d# b- Hto hear, and to everyone who ever said "Susie has a lot of spunk!"
1 i+ d/ |- v" Z+ H4 W) g"Spunk!" my father would say. "Let me tell you about spunk," and he* w* R% |# N6 s6 k5 L, {
would launch immediately into his Susie-peed-on-Lindsey story.
. S4 j- F4 ^5 Y6 W. }But as it turned out, my father had not mentioned us to Mr. Harvey or1 u- e4 _( K8 u) F) Z
told him the Susie-peed-on-Lindsey story.% J: ]+ f# ^: H# r: p# J8 ^# L
Mr. Harvey would later say these words to my mother when he ran into her; A  F# G+ z" G+ C2 a. v7 Q" O
on the street: "I heard about the horrible, horrible tragedy. What was
0 J( M: A$ m* `/ p! oyour daughter's name, again?"
$ M1 k& X0 J+ Y; ]* c"Susie," my mother said, bracing up under the weight of it, a weight+ f7 c' e) ?3 m$ P; @) l7 S
that she naively hoped might lighten someday, not knowing that it would
" Z4 v" J/ V! _. `  q" ]9 A* Xonly go on to hurt in new and varied ways for the rest of her life.0 X% k! q! Q. |4 g  e/ [
Mr. Harvey told her the usual: "I hope they get the bastard. I'm sorry
' }- I- E" |( M0 H) w. P% a: rfor your loss."8 c- I5 c, p: A8 D  j6 B
I was in my heaven by that time, fitting my limbs together, and, y. o8 P- M( L5 e+ J
couldn't believe his audacity. "The man has no shame," I said to Franny,
# _8 f" J+ H( Y+ h3 ]4 y8 h1 Zmy intake counselor. "Exactly," she said, and made her point as simply. S0 ?. z0 ~  }5 h7 n
as that. There wasn't a lot of bullshit in my heaven.5 r) i9 i# E4 @6 c0 L& e. P
Mr. Harvey said it would only take a minute, so I followed him a
$ h' t# J( M6 }8 |2 ulittle farther into the cornfield, where fewer stalks were broken off/ m/ Z4 t% {4 w/ B7 l9 Q8 u' D
because no one used it as a shortcut to the junior high. My mom had told9 {( S9 i/ l& ^
my baby brother, Buckley, that the corn in the field was inedible when
+ v# @- e( X9 E6 a# |he asked why no one from the neighborhood ate it. "The corn is for2 [$ d1 S+ A0 X& S/ ^
horses, not humans," she said. "Not dogs?" Buckley asked. "No," my
6 _& W2 x1 [4 j0 Imother answered. "Not dinosaurs?" Buckley asked. And it went like that.
/ i  `+ @' h$ R% y  M# c2 s8 Q; K"I've made a little hiding place," said Mr. Harvey.
/ A# Z3 C' P6 xHe stopped and turned to me.& e7 Z) t- S0 S2 {# [0 a3 G/ b
"I don't see anything," I said. I was aware that Mr. Harvey was9 t( y/ h; r# S" M; W
looking at me strangely. I'd had older men look at me that way since I'd' w# A  D. ]1 ^2 S2 ?
lost my baby fat, but they usually didn't lose their marbles over me5 j) S* n# U! M; \1 [8 Y
when I was wearing my royal blue parka and yellow elephant bell-bottoms.
( X: S, J: G. L) A( F% ]1 vHis glasses were small and round with gold frames, and his eyes looked
" f4 K: p; L; }8 B6 s7 Tout over them and at me.
5 f, |* n2 I9 G4 Z( A"You should be more observant, Susie," he said.
8 Z) T' T  O" ~+ w# ^4 w1 oI felt like observing my way out of there, but I didn't. Why didn't I?/ X+ N, c$ q. s" ]' ~( ~
Franny said these questions were fruitless: "You didn't and that's that.$ ?5 B2 P5 f2 d3 X3 d3 z- A$ I8 G
Don't mull it over. It does no good. You're dead and you have to accept; `7 C3 g$ ?; q0 g8 \3 v* ?0 u
it."
. U4 _- ]) P" L5 }1 I9 Q"Try again," Mr. Harvey said, and he squatted down and knocked against
9 Z; b1 U) o: w9 _( j7 wthe ground.
$ o) a4 D" C/ f5 s"What's that?” I asked.+ c3 ^( g& \# n- ]* h1 e! ~
My ears were freezing. I wouldn't wear the multicolored cap with the
6 R3 \; W( e# [8 ?- r6 R+ rpompom and jingle bells that my mother had made me one Christmas. I had
, }5 b. J6 e4 F9 _) mshoved it in the pocket of my parka instead.
- W( \) j% }9 k. d1 YI remember that I went over and stomped on the ground near him. It  W# o, S) p+ v" U8 M+ K+ J
felt harder even than frozen earth, which was pretty hard.4 ?; P0 \  e; o+ F, L
"It's wood," Mr. Harvey said. "It keeps the entrance from collapsing.
  l# ?# q8 R$ p2 M) d  @; p9 v9 kOther than that it's all made out of earth."9 m& h+ j4 L/ ^0 A
"What is it?" I asked. I was no longer cold or weirded out by the look
, B& w2 z2 {) Ghe had given me. I was like I was in science class: I was curious.
; K) B5 P! S' C"Come and see,"8 _, u9 b; G# @6 d6 g* C7 [1 y
It was awkward to get into, that much he admitted once we were both
0 e5 z  `" o, `inside the hole. But I was so amazed by how he had made a chimney that
7 P4 r5 X$ @4 Z# i1 Vwould draw smoke out if he ever chose to build a fire that the# ?% v7 @; r, r
awkwardness of getting in and out of the hole wasn't even on my mind.
7 [" _9 H3 s( t6 f- o; V2 BYou could add to that that escape wasn't a concept I had any real
0 B. E" G: K8 nexperience with. The worst I'd had to escape was Artie, a strangelooking+ k6 K) z+ W$ [; I" N
kid at school whose father was a mortician. He liked to pretend
% X" K3 g8 M9 p# a  o7 ^he was carrying a needle full of embalming fluid around with him. On his4 G9 f0 c, \, M/ S; }/ H1 U0 [
notebooks he would draw needles spilling dark drips.; r- b5 J/ s* a3 R4 [7 T1 w+ P7 n
"This is neato!" I said to Mr. Harvey. He could have been the
9 q* V- b3 ?+ N0 p. Z: Ehunchback of Notre Dame, whom we had read about in French class. I+ D, p! v; [" p$ T: E0 z7 K, l
didn't care. I completely reverted. I was my brother Buckley on our daytrip
4 K3 {, d" @. Nto the Museum of Natural History in New York, where he'd fallen in7 h1 r* `+ z& N9 U! o
love with the huge skeletons on display. I hadn't used the word neato in
( _3 y0 x; J  W" Ypublic since elementary school.9 f- I8 p! }9 f/ \, b5 C: `
"Like taking candy from a baby," Franny said.
: z: k0 q6 q+ V. N6 F9 K" }I can still see the hole like it was yesterday, and it was. Life is a0 O' p) C# L! s2 \+ X
perpetual yesterday for us. It was the size of a small room, the mud6 i% T7 S7 X% z$ y" v# t) U
room in our house, say, where we kept our boots and slickers and where
+ L( j7 i8 a+ @, t* }# aMom had managed to fit a washer and dryer, one on top of the other. I3 M2 D& ]1 u4 z/ Z
could almost stand up in it, but Mr. Harvey had to stoop. He'd created a
: @4 t. X, B. q& K1 Pbench along the sides of it by the way he'd dug it out. He immediately) O) r9 z* y7 L! A4 }/ n4 _
sat down.
# J- O5 k3 Z. j"Look around," he said.
% M$ C+ n% O) M* D, e8 ], i' S8 A1 U/ UI stared at it in amazement, the dug-out shelf above him where he had# E% V0 U$ D. z1 I
placed matches, a row of batteries, and a battery-powered fluorescent8 M  b& J2 _( M$ o5 v
lamp that cast the only light in the room, an eerie light that would
$ ^! ^& f& r. Y1 i& Omake his features hard to see when he was on top of me./ k# ]' l3 k: G
There was a mirror on the shelf, and a razor and shaving cream. I5 G7 ^# o5 X) R+ t
thought that was odd. Wouldn't he do that at home? But I guess I figured. o1 k+ b" [/ d- B3 k. d, x
that a man who had a perfectly good split-level and then built an
  z$ k' w0 Y" g& O" kunderground room only half a mile away had to be kind of loo-loo. My
4 P' F  d: c) b, f3 Vfather had a nice way of describing people like him: "The man's a
( F& w( W% B9 u. _1 D7 ?# z( vcharacter, that's all."
6 x) o4 ]8 N- J" g$ aSo I guess I was thinking that Mr. Harvey was a character, and I liked
; O" o6 ^: Z$ i1 Sthe room, and it was warm, and I wanted to know how he had built it,
6 R. `+ G& G; Mwhat the mechanics of the thing were and where he'd learned to do& j/ P1 y! F/ E  z: i, v
something like that.
6 o2 O, ^& q/ K  t# k% U. W& NBut by the time the Gilberts' dog found my elbow three days later and
3 f6 @- S& }2 b$ _! Z+ m1 gbrought it home with a telling corn husk attached to it, Mr. Harvey had
, x/ ~4 w  l9 F" y2 C' N0 q8 W! {6 @  eclosed it up. I was in transit during this. I didn't get to see him& d& Z8 H' o' |+ J) w) \* V$ I$ O
sweat it out, remove the wood reinforcement, bag any evidence along with
2 i9 e7 g  J$ T% imy body parts, except that elbow. By the time I popped up with enough( F7 `. |* A; X' W! a4 o
wherewithal to look down at the goings-on on Earth, I was more concerned
- G4 I+ s; L( h2 T; Twith my family than anything else.% s8 D5 L* C- |6 q# N1 _
My mother sat on a hard chair by the front door with her mouth open.
% B9 T" z5 E# jHer pale face paler than I had ever seen it. Her blue eyes staring. My
# E1 x" R/ A) P% |7 J' jfather was driven into motion. He wanted to know details and to comb the
8 Y1 J) L" {8 ~$ G' Ycornfield along with the cops. I still thank God for a small detective
2 e$ B9 k* @: K0 y, N6 ]named Len Fenerman. He assigned two uniforms to take my dad into town
$ K& ~) L" d+ E( k& E' Cand have him point out all the places I'd hung out with my friends. The3 _3 G( v" B& S2 [4 }$ M
uniforms kept my dad busy in one mall for the whole first day. No one
1 \- K, y, e, Jhad told Lindsey, who was thirteen and would have been old enough, or. ^, |. Y, I0 P4 ?: a0 D
Buckley, who was four and would, to be honest, never fully understand.
1 n; p$ \1 r+ Z) k% U9 r% u4 iMr. Harvey asked me if I would like a refreshment. That was how he put
, J" z$ h" z; @  E. I. [5 `4 \it. I said I had to go home.2 u( P) f3 r; @* }/ P5 u
"Be polite and have a Coke," he said. I’m sure the other kids would."
- {( i0 t( _6 d! W7 X$ S' t"What other kids?"- H2 E- s9 K0 y0 V
"I built this for the kids in the neighborhood. I thought it could be2 ?+ ?5 G( u* @% G& |
some sort of clubhouse."
; g9 H# m* R3 QI don't think I believed this even then. I thought he was lying but I# g9 H8 j( @" j/ h5 |; h( h
thought it was a pitiful lie. I imagined he was lonely. We had read6 S6 s1 s$ t# C0 V2 T
about men like him in health class. Men who never married and ate frozen/ Z8 v4 H8 P8 U  _  t" S
meals every night and were so afraid of rejection that they didn't even
4 ]2 A2 C8 [& P$ k5 K5 {own pets. I felt sorry for him.3 p4 B# H2 k' `, G
"Okay," I said, "I'll have a Coke."
2 L9 ?0 O- z6 ~" L! ZIn a little while he said, "Aren't you warm, Susie? Why don't you take9 [  X' F+ c2 Z% O. I
off your parka,"
+ \! n. N$ h$ o4 Z' ^: }I did.$ m$ T( m1 L# N
After this he said, "You're very pretty, Susie."7 J/ @/ Q; b5 a
"Thanks," I said, even though he gave me what my friend Clarissa and I
. \5 c/ j+ x: ~+ n6 u7 `had dubbed the skeevies.1 V  I& c& c9 [3 u6 y. q
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
" G5 C7 [) c, p  c"No, Mr. Harvey," I said. I swallowed the rest of my Coke, which was a' X* e" o# ?& R
lot, and said, "I got to go, Mr. Harvey. This is a cool place, but I3 Y2 |- `- Q3 P/ H+ O4 Z
have to go."
  H; R$ d. N' a! O( H4 WHe stood up and did his hunchback number by the six dug-in steps that9 t8 c7 O" v% g. m5 J/ _
led to the world. "I don't know why you think you're leaving."
4 w! F$ [# n. [& {, e3 X, E% gI talked so that I would not have to take in this knowledge: Mr.% J: c+ ~0 I; ^
Harvey was no character. He made me feel skeevy and icky now that he was2 p" l7 i6 Y3 Y, K6 [
blocking the door.
' [) ^. i" ]2 X9 Z. n% |"Mr. Harvey, I really have to get home."
5 x0 p/ o' s! g3 E/ ~1 v"Take off your clothes."
' z; v; X5 i8 ^  k"What?"  I8 P, M% b* e! z% H2 D
"Take your clothes off," Mr. Harvey said. "I want to check that you're
& o; R' z; a  Y3 s8 Tstill a virgin."
  f  k) B% i1 ]. W# A* v7 Y+ i" s"I am, Mr. Harvey," T said.7 ~9 p. z5 P% w- i
"I want to make sure. Your parents will thank me."- W: l3 l6 @; v; A. x* u" J" J
"My parents?"
) f1 ^+ i# u& L9 g, w7 e"They only want good girls," he said.
: P! M/ U3 Q2 f+ l( n6 _"Mr. Harvey," I said, "please let me leave."0 H. U8 p5 }" i" [
"You aren't leaving, Susie. You're mine now."- T) ~$ u4 H+ M( A! C
Fitness was not a big thing back then; aerobics was barely a word.
0 e4 ]/ |) A; _Girls were supposed to be soft, and only the girls we suspected were
( f- @6 _+ q' h" s6 z+ jbutch could climb the ropes at school.
9 ~$ U5 s' U& Q- v0 xI fought hard. I fought as hard as I could not to let Mr. Harvey hurt) k3 ]' b$ T" U% }
me, but my hard-as-I-could was not hard enough, not even close, and I
3 g* _' y# @2 V) |% twas soon lying down on the ground, in the ground, with him on top of me
) o- o3 H1 B8 [/ G: Upanting and sweating, having lost his glasses in the struggle.
8 ~0 ^& ]( g  q! fI was so alive then. I thought it was the worst thing in the world to! B( X# d8 `% d0 e$ q0 X
be lying flat on my back with a sweating man on top of me. To be trapped9 z+ N+ w* H5 ~/ r5 c' j7 K, D
inside the earth and have no one know where I was.0 ?: x; ^' L4 _( p' f6 j
I thought of my mother.
& D8 }; \! h& L) m5 f& wMy mother would be checking the dial of the clock on her oven. It was3 n6 g" H( a1 S1 U. y& z
a new oven and she loved that it had a clock on it. "I can time things( f" Y  v+ q& \( }, c, e0 P3 g
to the minute," she told her own mother, a mother who couldn't care less  Z( k  q/ L3 ^' f' M
about ovens.% O9 U8 x/ ~" C3 s4 ?+ ]9 J
She would be worried, but more angry than worried, at my lateness. As my
+ p. Q1 Q; p/ g2 ~' N( `; kfather pulled into the garage, she would rush about, fixing him a
% E. [* ]  G6 @/ a# u* W! ~- fcocktail, a dry sherry, and put on an exasperated face: "You know junior
; b; J# k# Z, S1 X) V0 ghigh," she would say. "Maybe it's Spring Fling." "Abigail," my father. j' _7 Y* A8 B. [, S2 Z+ v5 G
would say, "how can it be Spring Fling when it's snowing?" Having failed
6 ?& ?4 w. E1 N+ C: X8 Dwith this, my mother might rush Buckley into the room and say, "Play0 W0 x& v' e4 y; |; k2 V
with your father” while she ducked into the kitchen and took a nip of
" f2 ?4 j* R% _sherry for herself.
% @; _: D8 b9 W) ^7 [* yMr. Harvey started to press his lips against mine. They were blubbery
  }! P! r+ T- band wet and I wanted to scream but I was too afraid and too exhausted3 w! G6 R; x& j* N% u, [- ?
from the fight. I had been kissed once by someone I liked. His name was
, R* U  p5 E: R: XRay and he was Indian. He had an accent and was dark. I wasn't supposed
0 b8 M# C) T: g0 p6 u4 k4 m8 Ito like him. Clarissa called his large eyes, with their half-closed) ]7 t  J. v& k, w- z
lids, "freak-a-delic," but he was nice and smart and helped me cheat on- a" x( i. H7 W: A: w
my algebra exam while pretending he hadn't. He kissed me by my locker' s, y1 Y; r6 ?7 q7 u
the day before we turned in our photos for the yearbook. When the
4 u$ Y1 ]+ M/ M; ^  U) n% cyearbook came out at the end of the summer, I saw that under his picture
2 o" e7 I( W+ ?- ]% }he had answered the standard "My heart belongs to" with "Susie Salmon.") K! U  b! b, P) l
I guess he had had plans. I remember that his lips were chapped.
$ ~6 [5 V( b4 u' |5 o/ z"Don't, Mr. Harvey," I managed, and I kept saying that one word a lot.
+ l" B7 v; y+ ?( I( [Don't. And I said please a lot too. Franny told me that almost everyone: _* ~! N/ [0 j1 [$ M( Z' n2 @7 }
begged "please" before dying." M) Y- S3 n! u$ u* ?; n/ U
"I want you, Susie," he said.
7 c4 y' O8 I* e: x" i  t"Please," I said. "Don't," I said. Sometimes I combined them. "Please8 N( T5 B: ^1 g& ]* n$ u7 u& }
don't" or "Don't please." It was like insisting that a key works when it/ p6 \, M8 y: w9 F7 g; B. Z! p2 \
doesn't or yelling "I've got it, I've got it, I've got it" as a softball
% [+ o3 K  s) j& }+ b6 Jgoes sailing over you into the stands.0 i, f9 S5 J0 w9 `1 w- X* n8 M
"Please don't."7 R/ y0 \- n, {- b4 J
But he grew tired of hearing me plead. He reached into the pocket of! o  a4 h+ L+ f) G1 R3 [3 k! \
my parka and balled up the hat my mother had made me, smashing it into
, W" O. i: D; t: U6 X5 Qmy mouth. The only sound I made after that was the weak tinkling of
! A9 k% {( c4 H  s5 T2 V7 Qbells.3 i9 T$ Z2 E& s: |, _& ^* [! C
As he kissed his wet lips down my face and neck and then began to, a% f$ F. W' Q4 ?4 y+ x8 i
shove his hands up under my shirt, I wept. I began to leave my body; I+ A, G( d9 Y5 B) S' K3 R% c/ s( P, F
began to inhabit the air and the silence. I wept and struggled so I5 O$ g' f$ K5 I9 f6 d
would not feel. He ripped open my pants, not having found the invisible) }! v1 X5 i1 R3 U
zipper my mother had artfully sewn into their side.) K4 _/ \! |9 m4 r
"Big white panties," he said.7 y: t( S3 x3 ?4 M1 G
I felt huge and bloated. I felt like a sea in which he stood and$ }% J5 f2 @+ m( J7 a; R$ o
pissed and shat. I felt the corners of my body were turning in on
' S0 ^: M9 f( ythemselves and out, like in cats cradle, which I played with Lindsey
& y( ^" [# |- ~3 Wjust to make her happy. He started working himself over me.
; }- }+ y' g+ K! o% R"Susie! Susie!" I heard my mother calling. "Dinner is ready."
/ k& e* W1 N! g* z/ JHe was inside me. He was grunting.
0 F# e1 v1 @/ r"We're having string beans and lamb."4 E2 j+ v2 o. p. ?0 D
I was the mortar, he was the pestle.- k9 F) V  @% d
"Your brother has a new finger painting, and I made apple crumb cake.". \+ t0 I. T$ Y5 W* s
"Why don't you get up?" Mr. Harvey said as he rolled to the side and+ v7 k5 T( w. z( p$ k# @
then crouched over me,
, n) q  q' u6 m0 r* c6 u' z, U- Z1 NHis voice was gentle, encouraging, a lover's voice on a late morning.% e' o* r7 O$ {
A suggestion, not a command.- }( o3 N2 i8 X, f
I could not move. I could not get up.! Y% I7 T% `! P4 A0 ~" K: d
When I would not - was it only that, only that I would not follow his
4 I  f1 n6 n) N& h6 e5 X) u5 fsuggestion?-he leaned to the side and felt, over his head, across the4 j4 Q1 q! S$ L8 `
ledge where his razor and shaving cream sat. He brought back a knife.7 X/ Y; v/ A- A& \8 A+ U
Unsheathed, it smiled at me, curving up in a grin.
5 j6 T+ g# a+ {9 k& }/ v' THe took the hat from my mouth.
" ?( k; e- J; F0 ^, Q( y; v  R"Tell me you love me," he said.1 w% k8 ?( ?, H$ j
Gently, I did.
9 P/ ?1 i! a$ DThe end came anyway.
1 I" s5 G6 B+ h8 H) Y7 ?9 uMr. Harvey made me lie still underneath him and listen to the beating of
6 C" Y- i2 N$ U# |* Chis heart and the beating of mine. How mine skipped like a rabbit, and
- M2 x- F/ |. L3 qhow his thudded, a hammer against cloth. We lay there with our bodies
# Z6 l( w. n0 t; X9 u' Rtouching, and, as I shook, a powerful knowledge took hold. He had done
7 n# k* p1 X/ k7 Y" V! n: d. ^this thing to me and I had lived. That was all. I was still breathing. I1 `/ q3 Y! s3 s7 H5 @- Z6 z
heard his heart. I smelled his breath. The dark earth surrounding us- P; W3 U  Z& E
smelled like what it was, moist dirt where worms and animals lived their
$ u' r8 g2 Z" W) p! _/ Sdaily lives. I could have yelled for hours.
( V9 m! O& ^+ X1 n: P: v( BI knew he was going to kill me. I did not realize then that I was an
' [9 K0 w" t+ K. panimal already dying.
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